Feedback is one of the most powerful tools a leader has — and one of the most frequently misused. Too vague, and it doesn't change anything. Too blunt, and it damages the relationship and triggers defensiveness. Too rare, and people are left guessing.

The goal of feedback is behaviour change. Everything else — the relationship, the conversation, the delivery — is in service of that goal. Here's how to give feedback that actually achieves it.

Why Most Feedback Fails

Most feedback fails for one of three reasons. First, it's too general: 'You need to be more proactive' tells someone nothing actionable. What does proactive look like? In which situations? By when?

Second, it focuses on personality rather than behaviour: 'You're disorganised' is an attack on identity. 'The last three project updates were submitted after the deadline' is an observable fact that can be addressed.

Third, it's delivered in the wrong emotional state — either when the giver is frustrated (which makes it feel like an attack) or when the receiver is stressed (which makes it impossible to absorb).

Feedback is the breakfast of champions. — Ken Blanchard

The SBI Model

The SBI (Situation, Behaviour, Impact) model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, provides a clean structure for delivering feedback that is specific, observable, and non-judgmental:

• Situation: Anchor the feedback to a specific time and place. 'In this morning's client call...' This prevents the feedback from feeling like a general character assessment.
• Behaviour: Describe the observable behaviour — what you saw or heard, not your interpretation of it. 'When you interrupted the client three times before they finished their question...'
• Impact: Share the impact the behaviour had — on you, the team, or the outcome. 'I noticed the client became less forthcoming for the rest of the call, and we didn't get the information we needed.'

Adding the Question

The most powerful addition to the SBI model is a question at the end: 'What was going on for you in that moment?' or 'How did you experience that interaction?'

This does two things. First, it invites the recipient into a dialogue rather than a monologue — they become a participant in the feedback conversation, not just a recipient. Second, it often reveals context you didn't have: they were dealing with a technical issue, they'd just received difficult news, they misread the client's tone.

This doesn't change the feedback — the behaviour still had an impact — but it changes the conversation from evaluation to problem-solving.

Positive Feedback: Don't Waste It

The SBI model works equally well for positive feedback — and positive feedback is dramatically underused in most organisations. 'Good job' is as useless as 'be more proactive.' It tells someone nothing about what to repeat.

'In yesterday's presentation (Situation), when you paused after the key data point and made eye contact with the CFO (Behaviour), I could see her lean forward and engage more deeply with the rest of your argument (Impact).' That's feedback someone can use.

People work for money but go the extra mile for recognition, praise, and rewards. — Dale Carnegie

Timing and Frequency

Feedback is most effective when it's timely — given as close to the behaviour as possible, while the memory is fresh for both parties. Saving feedback for annual reviews is like coaching a sports team by reviewing last season's footage.

Regular, brief feedback conversations are far more effective than rare, formal ones. A two-minute check-in after a meeting ('One thing that worked really well, one thing to try differently next time') builds a feedback culture over time — one where feedback is normal, expected, and welcomed rather than feared.